Episode 54 Love, Fear and Impossible Dreams
Last week, I was in a friend’s home. Someone raised a question: "What is the opposite of love?"
I had an answer. I didn’t say it.
Someone else said, “Fear.”
I couldn’t fully understand it at the time. But now I understand.
Have you loved someone deeply but eventually have to end that relationship? What made you give up on the love? Is it out of fear? Fear of failure, fear of losing, fear of uncertain future, fear of the abundance of obstacles. You are fearful of a soul crashing breakup sometime in the future so much that you’d rather have it, right now.
When my mother was in her last stage of illness. One day, at breakfast table, my dad said, “Be prepared. That day can come any time this months.” It is one of the worst feelings I’ve ever had. – you are going to lose someone that you can’t live without, soon, but you don’t know when, any second is possible.
Fear is indeed the opposite of love, in this case.
Do you have this kind of experiences: You have something that you really want to do, such as to live some unconventional life style, to go to a place to work, to be with someone of your dream.
You thought it is impossible, so you try it without fear. Mostly, fear of failure.
(Please pause for a sec until you have some past experiences in your mind.)
This try without fear is a magical force. It is pure longing without sadness, and drive without friction. This try without failure can make amazing things happen. In your experience, did it?
In life, many people work hard. Some people work hard due to fear of failure. It is common in business school - you don’t want to be the 1% that graduate without a job. Don’t get me wrong. I am in complete respect to the people who would pursue their passion no matter what, and don’t have that fear. I had that fear.
Some people work hard because they know it is impossible, they are just having fun testing if it is really impossible.
The first kind of working hard could make people successful, at least on resume, but their soul may not be nourished.
The second kind of working hard may not lead to success on resume, but can surely be a huge success if you are truly happy. The journey is the reward. At the end of life, the quality of our journey is the quality of life.
An impossible dream doesn’t have to take over your fulltime job, doesn’t have to consume so much of your time. An impossible dream is an irrational passion. You are so dedicated in it with a light heart. Because you always know it is impossible, you are taking your time, you are not measuring your progress, you are enjoying the journey, you are giving without expectation.
And, maybe, one day, you wake up and realize, you have traveled so far and you have arrived at such an unimaginable place. That day, you will tell people, “Wow. I thought it is impossible. I didn’t work hard. I didn’t push it.
I just let life happen.”
I am now asking myself, and asking you, what is an impossible dream that you have now?
I had an answer. I didn’t say it.
Someone else said, “Fear.”
I couldn’t fully understand it at the time. But now I understand.
***
When my mother was in her last stage of illness. One day, at breakfast table, my dad said, “Be prepared. That day can come any time this months.” It is one of the worst feelings I’ve ever had. – you are going to lose someone that you can’t live without, soon, but you don’t know when, any second is possible.
Fear is indeed the opposite of love, in this case.
***
You thought it is impossible, so you try it without fear. Mostly, fear of failure.
(Please pause for a sec until you have some past experiences in your mind.)
This try without fear is a magical force. It is pure longing without sadness, and drive without friction. This try without failure can make amazing things happen. In your experience, did it?
In life, many people work hard. Some people work hard due to fear of failure. It is common in business school - you don’t want to be the 1% that graduate without a job. Don’t get me wrong. I am in complete respect to the people who would pursue their passion no matter what, and don’t have that fear. I had that fear.
Some people work hard because they know it is impossible, they are just having fun testing if it is really impossible.
***
The first kind of working hard could make people successful, at least on resume, but their soul may not be nourished.
The second kind of working hard may not lead to success on resume, but can surely be a huge success if you are truly happy. The journey is the reward. At the end of life, the quality of our journey is the quality of life.
An impossible dream doesn’t have to take over your fulltime job, doesn’t have to consume so much of your time. An impossible dream is an irrational passion. You are so dedicated in it with a light heart. Because you always know it is impossible, you are taking your time, you are not measuring your progress, you are enjoying the journey, you are giving without expectation.
And, maybe, one day, you wake up and realize, you have traveled so far and you have arrived at such an unimaginable place. That day, you will tell people, “Wow. I thought it is impossible. I didn’t work hard. I didn’t push it.
I just let life happen.”
***
I am now asking myself, and asking you, what is an impossible dream that you have now?
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