Episode 19 We Are More Similar Than Different

It was the last night in Vegas. My team rented a limo and were on our way to the old town Vegas. We were drinking in the loud music.

Beside me, was a senior manager. In the office, she always wear decent dresses, sophisticated make up. She graduated from Yale college, is deeply in love with her husband, has two sons who are both doing great. She recently became a grandma. She is on top of everything. 

She asked me whether it's hard to move to the US from blue, whether my parents are supportive that I am staying after graduating from grad school, and if they will come to visit. I said my dad will visit me soon, and my mom passed away.

She said, "Oh, I am sorry."

I hope I didn't make her uncomfortable and said, "No don't say sorry. It's fine."

She reacted immediately, "It is not fine. It will never get easy. My mom passed away ten years ago. She was 88. She was old, obviously, and she had a good life. But it’ll never get easier. When your mom passed away, you feel abandoned.”

I saw tears in her eyes. I was in disbelief that we were having this conversation in a limo in Vegas on our way to a bar. I realized a grandma is, also, a daughter that misses her mom.

It was followed by five seconds of silence. We were so close to weeping together.

Later we talked about working in a second language, how much "mental preparation" I need to build before making a customer phone call. And she shared that she feels paralyzed being able to speak only one language.

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Seven years ago, in my final round interview with Helen in L.E.K. Consulting. The last question Helen asked was "Do you have any questions for me?"

"What do you think makes L.E.K. different from other consulting firms?"

After some thought, she said, "Well, we are more similar than different."

(Originally posted on Oct 27th, 2017 on Wechat)